Sunday was Easter, and as usual, it was a problematic holiday for me on several levels. First, there’s the fact that I’m Christian, and my husband is agnostic. He doesn’t object to our celebrating Easter, but he’s not all that keen on it either. He helps us color eggs, and he cleaned the whole house while I was at church so it would be nice for all our relatives who came in for dinner. But he’s not exactly enthusiastic about the whole thing.

Then there’s the stupid moving date issue. I’ve studied the process by which the date is set, and it still doesn’t make sense to me. This year, Easter was actually set before Passover! Jesus was in Jerusalem to celebrate Passover when He was arrested and crucified. How can we celebrate Easter almost a month before Passover starts?! Different Christian sects celebrate it on different days which is weird too, and by the way, it was snowing when we got ready to do our Easter egg hunt. Very festive and hopeful and spring-y. We hunted eggs inside.

Then there’s the problem of Christians being inspired at Easter to say very un-Christian things. I guess preachers realize that many people in their congregation on Easter Sunday won’t be back until Christmas, so they take the opportunity to rain down eight months’ worth of fire and brimstone on them. This year, my parents invited me and my son to attend their church for Easter service. I figured my six-year-old would have more fun there with his grandparents and aunt than going to our little Episcopal church with just me, so we went. The flowers were beautiful, everyone was friendly and the music was great. But when the pastor began speaking, I remembered why I had left this particular church. The minister spent a full 10 minutes explaining how anyone who wasn’t in church celebrating Easter that morning was going to Hell. He went into great detail about Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhist and atheists spending eternity with the devil because in John 14:6, Jesus is quoted as saying, “No man goes unto the Father but through me.”

I have multiple issues with this whole idea. First, Jesus was a loving, tolerant, inclusive spirit. He said that God loved the world so much, He sent His only Son to save it. I’m sorry, but if God loves us so much, why would He set us up to go to Hell? I know a lot of wonderful Jews, Muslims, and Hindus. Why should they be damned just because they never heard of Christ or because they were misled by well-meaning parents, family and friends whose faith is just as strong as mine? And what about people like my husband who was physically abused in the name of God or those who were molested by pedophile Catholic priests? Many of them have had to reject the Christianity of their abusers just to maintain their own sanity. If my husband and non-Christian friends are going to Hell while I have to spend eternity in Heaven with a bunch of perverted priests and my husband’s abusively zealous stepmother, I think I’ll decline.

My second issue with this exclusive statement is that John wrote his gospel about 60 years after Christ’s death. John probably never knew Jesus personally, and he certainly did not have access to a video or audio recording of Jesus’ words. Many Bible scholars have questioned the authenticity of John’s history. As a student of literature, I have to go with them. John wasn’t at the Last Supper. Most of the people who were there were dead by the time John wrote his gospel. John is the only one of the gospel writers who records the conversation at the Last Supper. Isn’t it possible he got the quote wrong? Especially since it contradicts much of the teaching Jesus did prior?

Finally, I just can’t believe that a compassionate God would send only one messenger with His word. If He loves us as much as Jesus said He does, why would He send just one Savior and hope that word got around? Even today, with our global publishing companies, worldwide telecommunications networks and the Internet, millions of people never hear of Christ’s teaching. It’s not their fault. And think of the millions of people who lived before now. Jesus was one man living in and preaching in a tiny part of the world, reaching a tiny percentage of its population. So anyone didn’t get the memo goes to Hell? What a crock! I can’t believe in a God who loves people less than I do, and a God who would condemn good, but ignorant or damaged or deceived people cannot love His children as Jesus said He did. So do I reject God and Jesus or just John, a fallible human being who wrote decades after Christ’s death? Hmm…

Anyway, Easter’s over, and I have to say that the end of Easter is far better than the end of Christmas. When Christmas ends, it’s such a letdown, and all you have to look forward to is weeks and weeks of cold, dull, dark winter. When Easter ends, spring’s right around the corner. Plus Lent is over, and I can eat French fries again!

This weekend’s been busy for my family. We attended an Indiana Pacers game Friday night to support a friend who was performing in the pre-game show and sat with her friends and family. Yesterday afternoon, we went to a farewell party for my former boss and saw many of former co-workers I hadn’t seen in ages. Last night, my husband took me out to dinner for my birthday. Since we didn’t have to pick the kids up for a while, we spent about an hour in the restaurant bar, talking to a couple of other patrons and the very funny bartender.

None of this is extraordinary, except that during these various events, people once again made the assumption that I was, of course, politically conservative. With Super Tuesday looming, the conversations seemed to turn toward politics – nationalized health care, the environment, foreign policy, and the Iraq War which the Bush administration has done such a complete job of spinning, it HAD to be accompanied by talk of 9/11.

Since these were all social events and I was surrounded by people whom I like very much, I held my tongue most of the time. I politely smiled and nodded while my very sweet husband, who is far more conservative than I am in most ways, tried to come to my defense, pointing out the more egregious flaws in their assertions as kindly as he could

The long and short of it is – I’ve spent the whole weekend silently mulling over all this crap. And today, as I was doing the breakfast dishes and preparing for tonight’s Super Bowl party, I found myself singing an old George Michael song. All his silly antics aside, Michael’s a pretty good musician, and this song is one of my favorites. It took me a while to realize that this song has been stuck in my head all weekend, and it says all the stuff I wanted to say in a beautiful and kind way that I would never have been able to manage. The song is off his “Listen Without Prejudice” CD from 1990. Even almost 20 years later, the lyrics are hauntingly relevant:

These are the days of the open hand
They will not be the last
Look around now
These are the days of the beggars and the choosers

This is the year of the hungry man
Whose place is in the past
Hand in hand with ignorance
And legitimate excuses

The rich declare themselves poor
And most of us are not sure
If we have too much
But we’ll take our chances
Because God’s stopped keeping score
I guess somewhere along the way
He must have let us all out to play
Turned his back and all God’s children
Crept out the back door

And it’s hard to love, there’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it’s much, much too late
Well maybe we should all be praying for time

These are the days of the empty hand
Oh, you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear twice a year

This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there is over here

So you scream from behind your door
Say “What’s mine is mine and not yours.
I may have too much but I’ll take my chances
Because God’s stopped keeping score.”

And you cling to the things they sold you
Did you cover your eyes when they told you
That he can’t come back
Because he has no children to come back for?

It’s hard to love, there’s so much to hate
Hanging on to hope
When there is no hope to speak of
And the wounded skies above say it’s much too late
So maybe we should all be praying for time

-         “Praying for Time” by George Michael 1990

Amen.

Christmas used to be my favorite holiday.  Nowadays, I think it’s so commercialized, it’s hard to enjoy it. So I find it strange that conservative Christians get upset that Christ isn’t in more stores, schools, and government offices. Every year around this time, the Spanish Inquisition is renewed. The Christian Right gets all upset about “the attack on Christmas,” and TV pundits, radio heads, bloggers and e-mailers start insisting that EVERYONE should celebrate Christmas and do it properly. Talk about insensitive ethnocentricity.

I’m a Christian, and I love my Christmas. But I have friends who aren’t Christians. I’m not going to shove my religion in their faces. I don’t want them to shove their religion in mine. They don’t anyway, so I’m not sure why my fellow Christians on the right get so upset. “The attack on Christmas” is fiction.

Still, the e-mails keep coming. Here is a poem I received this morning:

T’was the month before Christmas
When all through our land,
Not a Christian was praying
Nor taking a stand.
See the PC Police had taken away,
The reason for Christmas - no one could say.
The children were told by their schools not to sing,
About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.
It might hurt people’s feelings, the teachers would say
December 25th is just a ” Holiday “.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit
Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!
CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod
Something was changing, something quite odd!
Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa
In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.
As Targets were hanging their trees upside down
At Lowe’s the word Christmas - was no where to be found.
At K-Mart and Staples and Penny’s and Sears
You won’t hear the word Christmas; it won’t touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty
Are words that were used to intimidate me.
Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen
On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!
At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter
To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.
And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith
Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace  

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded
The reason for the season, stopped before it started.
So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.
Choose your words carefully, choose what you say

Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, 

not  Happy  Holiday!

Argh!

·          Christmas is not in any danger. If anything, it’s taking over the world. Ramadan passed several weeks ago without much notice in the United States. Hanukkah’s going on right now. Did you know? Hard to tell around here, I assure you. But EVERYONE (Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus and atheists alike) knows that Christmas is coming in exactly 20 days. You can’t miss it.

·          The stores may not be using the word “Christmas” outright as much as they used to, although I don’t really see much difference from when I was a child. Still, is there any mistaking all those decorated trees, the big guy with the white beard and red clothes, and the shepherds gathered around a baby in a manger as anything other than Christmas décor?

·          I’m always amused by the conservatives who get irritated by what retailers do during the holidays anyway. Aren’t conservatives all about letting the “free market” regulate itself? Well, isn’t that what the retailers are doing? They’re just following the needs and wants of their customers. You want a free market, folks, this is what you get.

·          I still say “Merry Christmas” to lots of people. And I hear it back from a lot of people. There is no law against saying “Merry Christmas,” and there never should be; however, I would no sooner wish my Muslim students a “Merry Christmas” than they would have wished me a “Happy Ramadan.” To do so would be insensitive and rude, not to mention downright stupid. It has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with common courtesy.

·          Government offices have to be sensitive because they deal with ALL citizens. In addition, we have this pesky Constitution in the United States that is supposed to separate church and state. It was written by Christian men because they were worried about protecting Christianity. Christians seem to forget that, though, whenever the Constitution keeps them from getting what they want. Like a Nativity on the statehouse lawn. Can you imagine the uproar if someone tried to put a copy of the Koran or the Talmud on the statehouse lawn? To keep things fair, we just don’t allow any religious holiday décor in our government offices. Just like kindergarten, folks. If there’s not enough for everyone, no one should have any.

·          As for the schools, I can’t speak for all of them. But my son’s school is doing all sorts of activities for the Christmas season. They’re going on a field trip to our Children’s Museum which is celebrating winter holidays. They’re having a party the day before the break. They didn’t do any of that during Ramadan. Hanukkah will be over by the time the school celebrates. Maybe they don’t call these events “Christmas” activities, but who’s fooling who? I like the approach our school system is taking. They are using the winter holidays as an opportunity to teach students about different cultures and traditions. They’re talking about all the holidays, and they’re studying the way people in other countries celebrate them. It is a school after all, not a church. I’ll teach my children the meaning of Christmas at home or in Sunday School, thank you very much!

·          These people who get all in a tizzy about what they perceive as an “attack on Christmas” seem to me to be extremely self-absorbed and negative. Have they really looked around? Christmas is everywhere. Maybe we don’t say the downtown monument is decorated in Christmas lights, but those lights would NOT be there if it weren’t for Christmas. The Jewish residents of Indianapolis aren’t complaining about the holly and tinsel and twinkle lights. What do Christians have to complain about? Do Christians have to advertise their faith as well as their holiday trappings? For me, faith is a personal thing. I don’t feel the need to run around shoving my personal religious convictions in other people’s faces. I have my nativities in my home. I read the scripture to my children in my home. We sing Christmas carols IN OUR HOME. Sense a theme? The true meaning of Christmas cannot and SHOULD NOT be institutionalized, commercialized, advertised. Personally, I don’t want to see it in a store window or on a courthouse lawn. In the words of Charles Dickens, keep Christmas in your heart.  That is its true place.

·          My favorite conservative Christian uproar, though, has to be over the use of “X-Mas.” The fact that they’re offended by it exposes their ignorance about the history of their own faith. X is the Greek letter chi. When early Christians wanted to celebrate Christmas, they had to be careful not to let the anti-Christian authorities know. They used X-mas as an abbreviation to disguise their holiday. In modern times, the English letter X has taken different meanings. Good Christians who know their history, though, should not be confused by the term.

·          According to the ultimate hardliner conservative Christian, Oliver Cromwell, Christmas should not be celebrated at all. It is a decadent, frivolous holiday with too many origins in Pagan celebrations. When he and his religious reformers took over England in the early 1600’s, they outlawed Christmas altogether (An Outlaw Christmas, history.com).

Christmas is a wonderful holiday, and I love it. Most of my family and friends celebrate it. Even my agnostic husband likes Christmas and does not object to our creches, the angel on our tree or the reading of the book of Luke. We keep Christ in Christmas in our home where He belongs. No, thanks, but I’d rather not see Him in Wal-Mart or at Starbucks. I prefer to keep Him close.

When I was a kid, there was only one holiday. THE holiday. Christmas. Presents. Santa. Presents. Food. Presents. Parties. Presents. It was all about December 25th.

Then I grew up, got married and had kids of my own.

Christmas is now one of my least favorite holidays. It’s just way too hard. All the decorating, the baking, the shopping, the wrapping, the get-togethers. And it’s all gotta sparkle magically. Argh.
At this point in my life, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Think about it. It’s the perfect holiday.

1. No decorating required. Now I do a bit of autumn/Thanksgiving decorating, but it’s not a lot. Takes me about 15 minutes to change my dining room tablecloth and centerpiece, add some turkey, corn, pumpkin and scarecrow decorations to my living room, and we’re appropriately festive.

2.  No gifts to select, hunt down, purchase, hide and wrap. No e-mails back and forth to find out what Uncle Joe wants this year. No Amazon wish lists. No breaking the family budget to buy little Timmy the X-Box he’ll die without. No racing out at some ridiculous hour to fight psychotic shoppers over the last X-Box at Wal-Mart at the fabulous sale price that will save you $20.

3. No insanely long list of holiday activities that we must complete or risk breaking ages-old family tradition, thus emotionally scarring little Timmy and Janie for their lives.

4. No exclusion. I can wish anyone and everyone a happy Thanksgiving 100% worry-free. Anybody I encounter anywhere can participate if they want. Thanksgiving’s not a Christian holiday, a Jewish holiday, a Muslim holiday, a black or white or lovers’ or Irish-American or anything else. Even my foreign students enjoy the time off and seem to regard Thanksgiving as a quaint, harmless tradition.

A few of my non-American students were curious about my family’s customs and seemed bemused by my answers. They wanted to know what we do on this day of giving thanks. That’s what made me realize why I love this holiday so much. What do we do?  Well, we cook, we eat, we watch football and nap. What could be better than that?

If you think Christmas is better, more power to you. Enjoy the beginning of your season, marked by the doorbuster, pre-dawn sales at department stores around the country. I’ll be in bed, sleeping off my turkey binge.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cool title, huh? I wish it were mine, but I can’t take credit. It’s actually the title of the new album (oops, I mean CD) by Duran Duran.

I’ve been a “Duranie” for 25 years. I own every album, plus some bootlegs. I have the original Duran Duran, Rio, Seven and the Ragged Tiger, Arena, and Notorious on vinyl, cassette tape, CD and MP3. I’ve seen the band in its myriad incarnations in concert seven times in five different cities. I met them in 2005 after winning a backstage pass from the fan club. I went into labor with my daughter at their Indianapolis show later that same year. (It was the bass line in “Notorious” that did it.) We stayed for the end of the show. My laundry room is decorated with collages of their press clippings, ancient posters that were once taped to the walls of my childhood bedroom, and a calendar I got off their website which I check religiously. I’ve stuck with them through thick (the Rio - A View to a Kill days) and thin (1990’s Liberty - a flop of an album).

I’m a true Duranie.

So I cannot believe that I’m betraying my favorite band by admitting that I’m disappointed in the new album. I’ve been waiting for it for two years. As soon as I got out of work last night, I rushed to buy the CD. In the past 12 hours, I’ve listened to all 12 tracks twice, and some of them more than once.

I just don’t get it.

This one’s a collaboration with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, both of whom I like very much. As a matter of fact, the three tracks on which their influence is most obvious are the ones I like most - “Falling Down,” “Skin Divers,” and “Nite Runner.” But even those three songs aren’t that great. They sound plastic, shallow, and empty, like stripped-down versions of Timberlake’s “Sexyback,” which I love. The rest of the album feels cold to me, kind of a downer.

I’m going to keep listening to it. Maybe it’ll grow on me. Maybe I’m getting old. Or maybe the band has finally re-invented itself in a shape I don’t understand. I’ve always felt like Duran Duran and I have grown up together. When I was a hormone-charged teenager, their music was dark and sexy and mysterious and fun. When I was a hard-partying-but- searching twentysomething, their music was heavier and a bit more introspective. When I got married and settled down a bit, the band seemed to be maturing too: 2004’s “Astronaut” was complex and lively, but had some depth to it. This CD feels like an experiment that didn’t quite pan out. And maybe I’m too busy now with family and career to spend time experimenting, risking, taking leaps.

Like I said, though, I’ll keep listening. I’m not giving up 25 years for one album that doesn’t appeal to me.

Besides, it’s still better than Liberty. With a much better title.