What a mess.

Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie: Put them together and what have you got? Multiple arrests, stints in jail, a messy divorce, several lawsuits, aborted rehab stays, public nudity, downright trashiness and little, if any, talent.

I haven’t really figured out why any of these girls are famous, especially Hilton and Richie, who cannot even claim to be actresses or singers. (Hilton’s embarrassing appearance in “House of Wax” does NOT count.) Spears had a couple catchy songs about a decade ago; Lohan was once a decent enough actress to land roles in films starring much better actors. Now they seem to be famous for their all-too-exposed anatomies. Hilton and Richie seem to be celebrities simply because they were born rich. No wonder these girls are so screwy.

I saw this morning that Richie was sentenced to four days in jail. I don’t know what for. I can’t keep track. Lohan’s in rehab again, I think. Hilton’s out of jail at the moment. Does anyone know where Britney is? Bet you $50 she’s not with her children.
A few years ago, I could feel a bit sorry for most of these girls, but they’re getting too old for this nonsense now. Plus, they’re becoming mothers! Once you have a baby, you are no longer the center of your universe. All your issues should take a backseat to the needs of your child. But I just don’t see that happening with these horribly self-absorbed girls. Nicole Richie is pregnant now. God help her child. I heard Britney’s ex-husband is suing for full custody of their kids. How terrible a mother do you have to be to make Kevin Federline look like a good parent?!

My main concern, though, is not for these trashy girls or even for their unfortunate children. I’m worried about what they’re doing to America’s young women. All their ridiculous behavior is teaching our girls that you can act like a stupid, drugged-out, skanky criminal and be rich and famous for it. That’s disgusting. How am I supposed to teach my daughter to be a strong, educated, whole person when she has all these idiots staring at her from every magazine, website and television?

The kindest thing we can do for Spears and her ilk and the smartest thing we can do for our daughters is to ignore these young Hollywood fools. Don’t buy a magazine that sports them on the cover, don’t go to websites that spin their stories, and turn the channel when they pop up on the TV. Maybe they’ll eventually learn that there are bad consequences for bad behavior and clean up their acts. In the meantime, I’ll just try to keep my daughter out of rehab, out of jail and out of court. If only these girls’ parents could do the same.