Hoosiers - Think Before You Write!
Read Jennifer's Book - The Ex-Boyfriend Syndrome
You know those people you see on the news after some kind of disaster? Somehow, those reporters always manage to find the dumbest people to interview - people with only six teeth and fewer IQ points. Well, I’m starting to think that those idiots are multiplying exponentially, and they’re beginning to speak out more and more! What’s particularly mortifying to me is that many of these outspoken morons are from my home state.
Today, for instance, I was reading an article on Yahoo! and was disappointed to see an editorial comment about stem cell research from some guy in Indianapolis. Here is the exact quote: “If stem cells were proved to prolong life, rather than just imagined to do so, we would need no research.” Brilliant, huh? Obviously, the guy’s a little confused about the scientific process. I mean, how are you going to prove something without doing research?
I ran across another doozy in the Indianapolis Star last week. A woman was outraged at an article that dared to mention a new mother was breastfeeding her child. The editorial writer insisted that this detail was offensive and unnecessary since breastfeeding has nothing to do with giving birth. Hmm… has she tried to breastfeed a child without giving birth first?
Most of these morons seem to be very conservative. I don’t know if that’s a cause or an effect: are they morons because they’re conservative or are they conservative because they’re morons? Not sure which is the case, but there certainly appears to be some kind of connection. Maybe they’re just really poor writers, and they need help expressing their ideas more clearly.
Whatever the reason, they’re only adding to the state’s reputation for being backward. Indiana has more fat people and more smokers than the rest of the country. We also lose more of our college graduates than most other states. So I guess we’re left with all the uneducated people who eat and smoke all they want, ignoring the wisdom of medical science. Hey, now, that explains the two idiots above pretty well, huh?
Check out Jennifer's Book - The Ex-Boyfriend Syndrome
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Dumb people make great television.
(That’s fun to say!)
It’s hard to blame reporters for doing their job of sticking twangy-toned eyewitnesses in front of the lens, even if it is motivated mostly by being intentionally inflammatory for rating’s sake. We should be blaming ourselves for eagerly gobbling up controversial media nuggets like we were starving, which we quite obviously are not.
Indiana loves its vices. It’s a love that usually results in a marriage with ignorance. And yet as a whole we profess to be almost rabidly religious. I am finding that those who most publicly and agrily profess their religious beliefs are those most obviously not avoiding little things like gluttony, greed and wrath. We certainly profess to be patriotic, as if patriotism and public safety were ideas that could not be spoken of separately. I wonder how many of those wonderful souls picketing the funerals of fallen gay soldiers have denied themselves of anything they ever wanted, or ever wanted to do? I have begun to filter the world. Not into 10-second sound byes and headline blurbs but through volume, as I find that the people talking loudest are the ones that are scaring me most.
If morons were eggs, believe it or not I’d put morons in front of the conservative chickens. I have seen eggs that never made it to be chickens and morons that were not conservatives (a few, anyway). But there’s no denying that ignorance is breeding in the Hoosier state. And what is most alarming is that it is almost trendy with a majority more concerned about paying a few less tax dollars each year so they can get their plasma TV and Tony Stewart trailer hitch instead of investing in tomorrow through higher budgets for education and public safety. You would think that a state whose annual budget is nearly 10% dependant on gambling revenue would be rich enough to teach it’s own kids the mathematics needed for when they become gambling addicts. The distillation of our lives down to 30-minute increments and attention spans that seldom wander past our desires to quench our most immediate wants has bred attitudes in this state that become close to fanatical when mixed with the general ignorance actually coveted by a large part of Indiana’s population. Indiana LIKES being ignorant. It likes the safety and comfort of old ideas, old traditions and outdated thoughts concerning privacy, property and parenting. That sense of safety allows them to not have to think so hard which promotes ignorance down its cyclical merry way. Many people in Indiana are quick to express just how proud they are of their particular biases and unreasonable views. These are the same people who on 09-12-01 expressed to me how they thought we should turn the entire country of Afghanistan into a radioactive parking lot. (I was always tempted to ask them if they even knew where Afghanistan was . . . or even how to spell it).
HERE is where I would usually go into my spiel about how ignorance and religion do not mix and how when coupled with fear creates a mixture that is at the the root of just about every problem in this country, but I have probably alienated enough people already. Besides, anyone who knows me knows that words from me concerning morality should be taken very, very lightly.
I read last week that they may actually get those 200 new jail beds they have been talking about for 16 months here in the Capital County of the State of Indiana. Yeah . . . that should just about fix everything.
But the picture quality of the Rally’s commercials on our 50″ plasma screens bought with winnings from scratch-off tickets should look fantastic.
Comment by afar — August 15, 2006 @ 7:59 pm